Shut Down
Terminated
Terminated
Melissa (:
31august
ex- YTzen!! :D
YJCian!
volleyballer!! :D
melissa_hsw@hotmail.com
sometimes i dont really like the people there. i feel so weird, feel so lonely and scared. feel like leaving every second i was there. but i have to hang in there, it will be over soon. one more month. i know i have to get used to it, nothing will change. nobody will be there with me. but no matter how hard i try to be friendly with them , i cant. there is always something, stopping me to go closer to them. or maybe, i dont even want to be close with them.
the trip there took me one and a half hours. and the time spent there is definitely less than the amount of time i spent travelling to and fro. its a good thing actually, as long as i get my work done, cos i dont want to stay there any minute longer anytime.
tuesday, i felt so sad. the prof was veri mean. i felt so wei qu, but i cant do anything. i felt like crying when i was there, but i fought back the tears. my mum called me, i felt tears in my eyes. my sis called me, i told her i want to go hm. but i didnt cry, i dont want them to worry. and i know i cant stop if i start. however, eventually, it still made its way out. i cried when i was walking hm. i cried more when i realised there was no one at hm, no one to talk to. i felt so lonely.
wednesday, i tried to find someone to accompany me when im coming back... and luckily my sister is at home. we went to had lunch together. i was so glad she's with me. i cant imagine what will happen to me. i just need someone by my side.
thursday, i left home early. i reached the place one and a half hours early. but i didnt want to go there so early. so i went to had lunch. i bought a waffle and bubble tea. sat at the bus stop and watch the buses go by as i eat. ate half of the waffle and i cant finish it, so i threw it away. drank half of the bubble tea and i threw it away. took the bus to ntu and i was still an hour early. sat at the cafeteria and stone. wishing that someone would msg me. one hour passed, i went into the lab.
why do i feel so sad lately? i can cry at the slightest thing. im afraid.. i dont want to turn emo.